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Search Results 0 to 10 of about 11 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Jan 8, 2013 10:30am PST
to the bathroom. just too busy during the election. i also went to the doctor for a full physical. that area i was worried about, got some cream for it. [ laughter ] and those odd little growths, apparently those are toes. doc says i need them. whatever. he's the one with the fancy grow. [ laughter ] but even though i had more than three weeks off, i'm happy to say, do not worry nation, i am not rusty. [cheers and applause] am i rusty? i want to make sure i'm not rusty. rusty colbert? no. i'll going that for a second. rusty colbert, oh, do not google rusty colbert. that does look like me. that's erase that browser history while we're here. [ laughter ] i'm stephen colbert. that's my name. [cheers and applause] i'm stephen colbert, and folks, i get super angry over gay penguins. [ laughter ] or super gay over angry penguins. i don't know. okay. we'll see how the year shakes out. okay. now, folks, before i went on break, all the news was about a looming economic cataclysm known as the fiscal cliff. i didn't watch any news over the break but i assume we did not plunge over this cliff because i ha
Comedy Central
Jan 8, 2013 11:30pm PST
do not identify with anything. >> okay. the reason i wrote the letter because as an elected official delegate burns does not have the right to stifle free speesm that's the first amendment. when he wrote the letter saying stifle this man as free speech it irked me as an american because it's not what this country is about. i firmly believe people are people and deserve to be treated the same as everyone else. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: it's pretty easy to play the people are people card. i happen to know serve a person. you are pandering. >> there's no corporations out there? >> stephen: they are always welcome here. i do not discriminate. you didn't just like take issue with this guy. you wrote things along this line. you called the dell did you get quote "a narcissistic frumnda stain who said he was worried gay marriage would turn him into a quote lustful (bleep) monster. >> yes. [cheers and applause] [ laughter ] >> pleased to know so far with the defeat of the marriage amendment act in minnesota i have seen zero (bleep) monsters running around in minnesota. >> stephen: i'm
Comedy Central
Jan 7, 2013 10:30am PST
presidency. the arrogance of getting re-elected by running on a platform that voters find appealing sickens mement and now, and now folks, get ready for this, lady michelle antoinette. has abused her power yet again. >> oh, the perks of being first lady michelle obama is a self-professed downton abbey fan. she could not bear waiting until january 6th for the new season to begin so she asked the british filmmakers for a copy now. she got it. >> stephen: oh, yes, cup cup, fetch me the downtons. now, meanwhile we commoners are left to fear what will become of downton as it lurches it into the roaring '20s, will lord grantham accept labbee cybil's child with branson. will they stay in prison forth murder of his ex-wife. will they accept a marriage proposal from a young corporal hitler? (laughter) so many questions! she knows the answers. but we don't. until the season premier on january 6th. well, tonight folks, i strike back at her highness. by presenting you, my nation, with something not even michelle has seen. part of the show vince gilligan has agreed to let me show you scenes from the upc
Search Results 0 to 10 of about 11 (some duplicates have been removed)